RA ,takes it tole on you emotionally and spiritually

[lisamiller67]

When I was first diagnosed 18 yrs ago ,I went thru the denial and crying and all the asking why me ,I was so young , then i learned that ,I wasn't the only one with it. I could not believe how many other's was suffering like myself, even children, So I decided to pick myself up and take it head on, I have always been a strong person ,very independant, wasn't going to let something like this get the best of me , I have had many good days and way to many bad days to count, not being able to plan things in advance, or wake and realize that what ever I had planned for that day ,was of no good, because i was to stiff and swollen to do anything other than take meds and go back to bed,I would get so mad at my body for what I thought it was doing to my life , My body would not respond to my commands, I could not do the things I was used to doing every single day without  even thinking about it . I look back over the yrs sometimes and can't believe I have made this far, but I have and that is a blessing , I look at this thing like a challenge every do , some days it wins and others are all mine to do what i wont with , I have learned alot from my disease, but the biggest thing I have learned is to never give up, never quit searching for new treatments, there are so many treatments out there for us , some are good and others are bad, there are so many that all dr's don't know about all of them ,I knew nothing of the antibiotics treatment, until I came to this website, I will approach the subject with my dr in may , I will never stop looking for more answers to all the questions we all have , ,just keep the faith ,NEVER GIVE UP 😀

[Maz]

Lisa, thanks for sharing so much of your journey so far, especially how it's impacted you emotionally and spiritually and how you've managed for so long. You're right, it really does affect you in so many ways to be given this type of diagnosis.

My RA journey began a year and a half ago…was in the best health ever, eating a good, healthy diet and was working out at the gym with a boot camp trainer. In fact, I was shocked that it didn't take long before I was fit enough to be able to do workouts that my then 19 year old daughter was doing! And, after struggling for years to shed some extra pounds, I'd finally reached my ideal weight. Basically, I was feeling energetic and pretty good about entering mid-life in as healthy a way as possible. 

Then, in the period of a few short weeks everything changed…I got Lyme Disease and got sick very fast. During this time, my dear mother suddenly passed of undiagnosed breast cancer. Within 6 weeks, I was flat on my back in agony with all my limbs propped on pillows. Basically I went from being full of life to just wanting to die within a period of about 2 months. The shock of losing my mother and being diagnosed with swift onset, severe RA was just too much to bear all in one go.

I was fortunate and found The Road Back and AP very early on, because I had to be treated for Lyme with antibiotics and my Lyme Literate physician confirmed that AP had been around for a long time to treat rheumatoid diseases and just hadn't received the widespread acknowledgement it deserved.

So, there was a lot of internalised grieving going on for a long while until I realized it was probably adding to the equation and started facing things. It was a process and didn't quite happen overnight..all the stages of grieving for both the loss of my health and my mother….and I still have my weepy moments….but it helps tremendously, as you so beautifully described, to know there are other out there going through the same or worse and that, somewhere deep down in side, we are able to pull out the inner resources and courage to fight our diseases. And, having the Road Back for support, encouragement and some pretty great information has been one of the biggest blessings. Just the phrase, “The Road Back” that Doc brown coined is so perfectly apt.

Lisa, if you would like to start your own journaling thread by sharing or even expanding on what you've already shared above, please go ahead and do so. you've hit on a very important part of the journey that we all share in common…the emotional and spiritual healing that goes along with our physical healing, as we truly are mult-level beings.

Personal Progress Thread link: 

http://www.rbfbb.org/view_forum.php?id=3

Thanks again for sharing so much, with such heart and so authentically.

Peace, Maz

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