Deformed – How Does it Feel?

[Lizz]

I was just wondering if anyone on this board is deformed like me. Despite all my efforts, both knuckles are swollen and my left hand is leaning to the left. I guess it is only a matter of time until the right one goes. Hope I’ll be able to write and type still. I have 2 severely deformed toes, they don’t bother me as much as nobody sees my feet. The look of my hands make me feel awful, they look like that of an arthritic 85 year old woman. I hide them as best I can in public. I sort of regret how I’ve been trying to help myself.

[Todd WI]

Hi Lizz,

I’m deformed too. The arthritis in my hands is obvious to even the untrained eye. I actually had a co-worker ask me “what’s with the old man hands?” I don’t embarrass easily but I’m sure I turned red. Solution, I don’t know. I find I often keep my hands below the table. It’s hard to accept, but then again, nobody is perfect. I hope to one day answer the question with “yeah, I once had an infection that gave me arthritis…”

Todd

[Jan Lucinda1]

Let me quote Dr. Seuss:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

[Valsmum]

Cute reply Jan, I agree with the notion that the people that care about me most don’t care if my elbow is deformed and my knees look like grapefruits.

It seems to me people think about themselves so much that if they do decide to think about my deformed elbow, it probably will be a short passing thought anyway.
A week ago I saw a dear lady about the age of 80 with severely deformed hands at my rheumatologist’s office. The first thing I thought was “Awww”, like when you see a newborn, she looked so frail and little and she had a blanket covering her while she was asleep in the chair.I wanted to give her a hug, but she was asleep, and I lacked the courage anyway.
So maybe sometimes we imagine a negative response from people, when actually they are thinking “I wish I could give her a hug right now.”
Those are my thoughts on the matter.

[crowchez]

After much of the pain receded from my hands, I was startled & saddened to see my finger joints still swollen. I realized none of my rings would fit & I still wonder if the joints will stay this way forever. However I think of them now as battle scars, signs of a fight being waged & being won. Maybe I’ve just gotten old enough to appreciate the saying that you shouldn’t leave a beautiful corpse but should demonstrate that you’ve had quite a ride (I completely mangled that! 😆 ). I also think that we imagine people concentrate more on us than they really do, so I agree with valsmum there. Another saying is be kind, everyone is fighting something. That gives me some perspective too.

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