How was 2010 for you, and what do you hope for in 2011?

Whenever we get to the end of December, I invariably end up taking stock of the year behind me and begin thinking about my aspirations for the year ahead of me.

I had a year of highs and lows. On the positive end, I spent something like 4.5 of 12 months travelling. I roadtripped across the entire North American continent (6 weeks!!), much of Western Europe and the entirety of the UK. I also spent extended periods of time in London, NYC, Vienna and Paris. I enjoyed some personal successes with a record label I run with friends. I redeveloped a close relationship with my mother’s side of the family. I gained some weight, but only because I took up a love of baking and cooking and ate some of the best food of my life.

On the low end of the spectrum, though I’d known it for awhile, I finally had a rheumatologist confirm my diagnosis of scleroderma. I also learnt that I have pulmonary fibrosis. And in early December, I began dealing with debilitating anxiety, which four weeks later is still driving me bonkers. It leaves me breathless every day and aggravates my lungs (which is the last thing I need right now). As I struggled with news of my illness and emerging symptoms, I also came to realise that some people I considered friends are less reliable than I once thought.

My hopes for the new year centre mostly on getting better: physically AND emotionally. This anxiety stuff definitely has to stop. I hope for enough strength (let’s called it “grit”) to resist the temptation to go on drugs like cyclophosphamide and methotrexate, and to continue on with AP.

On a final note, in the past few days, I’ve noticed that while I still feel some discomfort after meals, I can actually chug a glass of water after a meal without feeling like I need to lie down and throw up. For the past 18 months, I’ve been unable to drink after meals (this is how my esophageal dismobility manifested itself). I’m definitely not back to “normal”, but I think something’s getting better. Perhaps my first clue that AP is working? An excellent way to ring in 2011, in any event.

How was your year and what do you hope for in the upcoming year?