October 28, 2008 at 5:50 pm #301301
All- Okay, I've got it right this time- I'm using this part just to keep my progress journaled. (thanks for helping this discussion board newbie!)
I started my AP about 5 weeks ago. The first three weeks were AWFUL – started herxing about two days into treatment and I felt far worse than I did before I started AP. After reading lots of posts and you wonderful folks telling me about your journeys, I asked my doc to switch to pulse dosing last week and it has helped a lot. I still feel worse than I did before I started AP but I feel better than I did two weeks ago. Brain fog is a little better but I still have the mental acuity of a pumpkin–looks pretty cool from the outside but the inside is a mess of goo!
My joint pain is still quite bad – have had to resort to pain meds (after years of being on them – major ones like morphine – I have an aversion to them). Doc convinced me that being in severe pain will impede my recovery. So I've added some percocet into the mix, and it does help. Oddly enough, my brain fog is MUCH better about 20 mins after I take the Percocet and stays better for about 2 hours. I have no idea why narcotics would help brain fog.
I have not been very good about my diet the last two weeks – have had some wheat and fast food. I know, it's not helping my body – I tossed all the bad stuff out in the trash this morning and stocked up on fruits and veggies at the grocery store. Luckily my daughter loves fruits and veggies (though she also loves McDonalds). I'll post in the general discussion board asking for help with going dairy free. (that means pretty much all my comfort foods are gone – no chocolate pudding???) I definitely notice when I eat wheat that my sugar cravings go way up. I really swing on my diet stuff- some days I'm a rock and can turn down birthday cake and the free pizza they're giving away, other days I am called by the Krispy Kreme “hot donuts now” sign. But the good news is it doesn't taste as good as it used to. So I don't beat myself up, just remind myself that the better I eat the better I'll feel. And my 3 year old is a great helper. If someone offers her juice (you know, the stuff that has little if any real juice in it) she'll say “I can't have juice that has sugar in it.” Hearing that resolve from a preschooler helps me.
I started the lemon/olive oil drink a few days ago – don't notice anything but I know it's good for me (and I've drunk much worse stuff- anyone who has ever used “GI Revive” knows what I mean). Also started the Epsom salt/peroxide baths. After I feel a bit “clearer” and mentally a little more like my old self. It only lasts a little while but I'll take it.
It's been a tough few weeks mentally/emotionally. Work is pushing me to leave on disability -I haven't been able to work more than a few hours a week since June, so I can't blame them. It's feasible, but I would have to move somewhere less expensive than Northern Virginia. The thought of packing/selling a house/moving/finding a house/finding preschool and getting settled somewhere else is overwhelming to me. And it's really hard to accept that I may have to do that. Accepting that I am not able to do what I used to and may not be able to for months or longer (likely longer since I've been “unhealthy” since 2001, so I can't expect recovery to be quick) is tough. I'm a “suck it up and do it” kind of person -worked through severe chronic pain for years. But I can't push through this. The harder I try the worse I get. So I finally realized (after 4 months of struggling) that getting well has to be my focus, and the Good Lord will take care of the rest. Some days I'm okay with that – other days I feel like a failure. I had to borrow money from my folks and ended up taking a chunk of money from my 401k to pay the bills (probably not that bad given the state of the stock market these days), but it's still humbling. I am dealing with the mental part of this better than I was most days, but it is a challenge.October 30, 2008 at 4:45 am #320488
I had two hours today where I felt pretty good – dare I say, very close to “good”. It faded ridiculously fast, and I ended up sleeping 4 hours (not in the plan, but then not much about this is, is it?) I am almost scared to hope this means things are working….but it sure felt good to feel like a functional human being for a little while.November 3, 2008 at 10:56 pm #320489
Blegh. That pretty much sums it up. I feel like crud, and today it has really hit me haerd that I may truly be facing disability retirement in a few months. It scares me silly to think about having to start all over at 45 as a single mom. I know God provides, and someday I will look back and this will be a good thing, but right now it is overwhelming. Six weeks into this and I feel crummy- but I am really psyching myself out now – should I be doing more than I'm doing? Am I just being lazy? Is it as good as it gets and I better just suck it up and get on with it? I hate the mental part- the self-doubt, constantly pretending. I pretend too well — everyone thinks I surely am better by now and can't understand how it is I can take my daughter to the park but can't work. They don't get that taking her to the park is exhausting and, at the same time, energizing because it's just pure, honest fun. And work isn't – it's a long commute, a 20 minute walk (but I manage to run around at the park – see the mental game here?. Never mind that I run around for a little while and then get a nap when she does, and it's only for a short period each day. But stil…….)November 11, 2008 at 9:17 pm #320490
Doc appt yesterday. He really doesn't think lyme is an issue. My pain appears to be related more to tendons than to joints (i.e., not arthritic). Started a brief period of celebrex (3-4 days) and Kapro and EC Matrixx to see if that helps the pain. Also upped the Lyrica to 100 mg bid. Phasing out the Cymbalta as I don't think it's helping the pain. One of the 3 new adds wreaked havoc on my stomach, but it was short lived. I do seem to have a modicum less pain today, though I slept from about10-2. Also upped the thyroid meds from 15mg to 45mg. Even though my thyroid numbers got a bit high when I was on 30mg, symptomatically I seem to be low. Possibly thyroid resistant, so we'll up it and see how I feel. Added Climara (estrogen patch) – since I get so much worse around my period it could be that I'm not metabolizing my reporductive hormones correctly, so we'll use the Climara straight through to suppress my period and see if I notice a difference.
Armour thyroid 45 mg/day, Fibrocare 2-3x/day, Chromagen FA 1/day, Nystatin 2-2x/day, Arctic Omega 2-3x/day, Vital-zymes 2-3x/day, Therbiotics 1-2x/day, Adrecor 1 scoop-2x/day, Corvalen M 1 scoop-3x/day, Energy Enfusion 1 scoop/day, Lyrica 100 mg 2x/day, Climara, Progesterone 50 mg/day, 5-HTP 200 mg/day, Ambien CR 12/5 mg, Minocin 100 mg-2x/day M/W/F, phasing off Cymbalta (currently 60 mg/day)
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