After 7 years of battling intermittent (and sometimes constant) pain and mind-numbing fatigue, I'm starting AP tomorrow. I am cautiously hopeful and at the same time discouraged becauase I read it may take months or years to notice a difference. (After 7 years I still have some hope for that “magic pill”, though I know it doesn't exist). And I am really looking forward to the herx! You know you get to point where you're almost trying not to be hopeful – after promising work “I'll be back” for the last 3 months (and they've seen me exactly 2 times), re-writing my “proposed telecommuting” schedule at least 5 times (and barely “showing up”), bumming money off my folks to pay the bills (humbling to say the least at age 45), having my job threatened, being a single mom (of an amazing and joy of my life 3 year old), looking at the house which is a total wreck……hard to imagine it will get better. I'm not sure I remember what '”better” is anymore- isn't it amazing how our brains adjust to the “new normal?” But I didn't come here to whine – I came here to chronicle my return to health, however slow (or fast!) it may be, and to share this journey with people who have been there and can inspire (and commiserate with) me.
Going in position- running on empty – physically, mentally, emotionally. Lots of pain and only folks who have been through it know how tired you are. Brain fog is an understatement – there are days I'm not sure my brain is even awake (thank goodness for the 3 year old who reminds me of what we need at the grocery store- because of course I forgot the list)
Tomorrow is a new day (blessed are we to have one, aren't we), and I'm looking ahead to healthier days.
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